Friday, April 08, 2005
Google Maps now has satellite images as well. Above is where I live and where I work, respectively. (The Ohio River is never that pretty, incidentally, at least from ground level.) Anyone else notice the odd curved theme going on here?
Also! Part III of The Running Bat:
After desanguinating his first victim, the bat fwip-skittered into the mall by the grace of an handicapped-accessible door left open by someone who was not handicapped, just lazy. So far, no one had noticed the husk of the woman outside -- people were too busy checking watches and talking on cell phones. Dripping blood from its fangs, the bat scooted across the cold linoleum, headed straight for the line at the pretzel stand.
fwip skitter fwip skitter fwip skitter fw--
A massive, booted foot came down on the bat's head, crushing it instantly.
"Where the hell did that come from?" Joe Bob (captain of security, north sector) asked his bitch, Butch.
"Outside. Must be rabid."
"Why rabid?"
"Why else would a bat be fwip skittering across the floor instead of flying?"
"Fwip skittering?"
They looked at each other for several seconds, unclear exactly as to what each was saying to the other. Finally, Joe Bob pulled rank: "Just clean it up, bitch."
"What did you call me?"
"Butch?"
"Oh."
Butch unceremoniously picked up the bat by one slender wing and dumped it in the nearest trashcan, on top of unfinished pretzels and wasted Coke.
(I think there should be a sequel. The Worm says I'm on my own.)
From Glenna: Find your inner goddess! Also, Cultural Survival focuses on indigenous groups worldwide.
From Holly and Zazoo: a boy band member is running for mayor of Cincinnati. Isn't that just super? I mean, it's not like this city has serious problems or anything. Gah.
In honor of the 30th anniversary of the Big Red Machine, the Reds Cutting Edge is keeping a journal of what happened each day in 1975. Good reading! Also in baseball, the very mooseness of the Mariners mascot is called into question. And if you like the "this day in history" sites but don't like baseball, there's a Disney version.
Have a good weekend, everyone. See you Monday -- or Saturday at Jacobs!
Thursday, April 07, 2005
The latest weird news from a library involves my alma mater (Ohio University) and a man with two guns. You know, I don't think I saw or heard a gun the whole time I was at OU, back in the more hippie days of the early '90s. (Also, the student was "wearing all black." Clearly, another instance of the Goth Mafia gone wild. Sheesh.)
Perhaps if the gunman had joined the Guys Read club, all this wouldn't have happened. (I like that Alan Moore's Watchmen is one of the recommended reads for teenage boys, though. Someone there has good taste and a good idea of what boys like.)
If you're looking for books you can judge by covers, they're being offered by the foot for theatrical productions. Actually, at ten dollars a foot, I'm thinking it would be fun to order the bargain book set just to see what I got.
Random find: Yahoo has a Creative Commons search engine, which is a great idea.
StuffBak rewards people for finding your lost (electronic) items. Everyone wins!
If you feel like being depressed (or getting motivated, depending on your psyche), you can see what other people accomplished at your age. I put my age in and got "Amelia Earhart became the first woman to fly across the Atlantic alone." Well. Great. Then again, look what happened to HER.
NetDisaster will destroy any website you like (temporarily and with humor). I'm getting a perverse sort of joy in sending aliens to attack conservative sites.
Tomorrow: links from others!
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
Training his beady eyes down the sidewalk, he spotted no one -- not so much as an errant field mouse in search of its own nibbles. But the bat knew better: Malls attracted flesh in want of spring fashions, and he would find that flesh, and KILL KILL KILL. fwip skitter fwip skitter fwip skitter His hook-like claws scraped the surface of the concrete, sending ants running for cover. Blood was blood, after all, and even an ant could sustain him for a few seconds. Then he spied the leg. It was not a sultry leg clad in fishnet hose -- in fact, it was a tad pale and out of shape -- but the thought of so much life-giving sustenance made his heart race and got his wingtips fired up and ready to ROLL. She never even heard him coming. The pain was sudden and intense; the scream loud and overly dramatic...
Part II of "The Running Bat" by the Graveworm (this may be the end, too, since he hasn't sent me anything further!):
For the victim, may I suggest an old Mercedes-Benz hearse? Some of these are fantastic.
Wednesday's around-the-world-in-five-links-or-less report:
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
The Zombie Cheerleader gets a snack during the convention. What? A girl's gotta eat!
"His first step was tentative -- a delicate wingtip testing the pavement
--but once he'd taken that second step, all bets were off. The furry li'l fucker
was like a bullet from a gun, fwip-skittering across the parking lot in search
of BLOOD!"
I never realized we had a Toy Lab right here in town (or maybe I did, but didn't realize adults could join in as well!). Any fellow Cincinnatians up for an excursion?
Terranova creates a different planet each day. I like today's a lot. I would also like a planet that didn't embrace the weirdness that is Daylight Savings Time, but since I'm stuck on Earth for the forseeable future, I think I want a Clocky to help me get up in the morning. (I think Clocky might run into problems if a cat or dog is around, though.)
Monday, April 04, 2005
Artist of the week: Salvator Rosa. Spooky stuff, just the way we like it here.
"There She Goes Again" by the La's was an instant classic, the kind of song that seems as though it should have been written long ago. The leader of the La's is not your ordinary singer/guitarist, and it seemed as though the band was gone for good. But no! They're back! Catch them while you can!
For more great music, Underheard provides access to local radio shows around the country. I haven't explored it too much yet, but what I've seen so far looks great.
Lastly, today is Opening Day for baseball season, and the city has gone bonkers like always. Parades, specials, and lots and lots of people abound. If you're inside, you can check out stadium diagrams online, or even interactive baseball cards. (I think every team should have these sorts of cards.)
